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“I have a good reason. I’m still adjusting,” Bria said defensively. Instantly, guilt washed over me for mentioning it. Bria was still recovering from what happened New Years, but I became proud of all she had accomplished since then. “Although, Jude is just what I needed to push me into full recovery.”
Turning the corner, I’m face to face with another wall of books rising to the ceiling. Colors of their bindings blur together along with my vision as I spin in circles, looking for a way out. There is no way out. Ru “Ollie, I can’t find you!” I cry out, my head turning in all directions. All I see are books, dozens of them closing in on me. “Call out to me!” The books laugh back at me, taunting whispers flow through their pages. Their words wrap around my windpipe. Each aisle I run through inch smaller and smaller, shelves cave in, and before I know it, I have to squeeze through the aisles. My legs give out and my body collapses to the ground. I drop my head into my hands as my senses overpower with defeat. “Wake up!” My eyes flew open to see someone leaning over my bed with a hand over my shoulder. “Ollie?” His jaw clenched. “Ethan.” “Ethan…” I echoed through a sigh, blinking rapidly. Sweat built up between me and the sheet and my hair stuck to my face. I kicked the top sheet off me. The room was dark, but I managed to make out Ethan’s silhouette as he took a seat beside me on the edge of the mattress. He wiped a cold towel over my face like he did every other time in the middle of the night. “You said you wouldn’t come anymore.” Ethan stayed silent, gathering my hair in his hand and pulling it off my neck. The cold towel at my nape soothed the fever of my night terror. “Ignoring your screams is torture,” he mumbled. The night terrors had come every night since Ollie left, and I could rarely recall what my nightmares were about, but for seven months, Ethan had been the one to pull me from them. My breathing steadied, and I rolled over and looked up at Ethan as he moved the towel across my neck and over my collarbone. He never touched me with his bare hands, only the cool hand towel he always had prepared. And every night I needed it. But tonight, I needed more. Slowly, my fingers inched to his over the wet towel. My mind raced, and I didn’t know what I was doing, but my body starved for any source of physical comfort. Ollie was gone, and I was desperate. My irrational thoughts spun, thinking Ethan’s hands could heal me from the loss. Or perhaps I just needed someone to hold me because when my eyes closed, the ache surfaced. Ollie wasn’t here to take it away, but Ethan was. Ethan didn’t move. He froze, seeing what would come of it. His eyes stayed on mine as I pulled his hand to my face. I closed my eyes against his warm skin. It was nothing like Ollie’s hand, but comforting in its own way. Releasing an exhale, I held his hand there, waiting. Ethan rubbed his thumb against my cheek and let out a small breath of his own. When I opened my eyes, I found him again. “Please, don’t leave me,” I choked out. “Stay with me for just a little bit. Until I fall back asleep?” Ethan’s mouth set in a hard line as he pushed more strands away from my face, but his eyes never wavered from mine. “Don’t put me in that position.” He removed his hand and turned his eyes away. Then he stood and adjusted his belt. I used to fear the jingle of those keys, but Ethan’s presence had replaced that fear. I no longer flinched at the sound. Now, I begged to hear it. Ethan turned back around to face me, and his eyes wandered up and down my sweaty body until they landed on my face. “I’ll see you in the morning, Jett.” He’d never call me by my first name, and I never understood it. Rolling back over in the bed, each of his footfalls gripped my already broken heart before the door clicked closed behind him.