Stay with me

Shortly after I closed my eyes, I felt his long fingers trail up the side of my thigh before grabbing my hand from my lap, always breaking his own rule of no touching. He brought it to his lips and kissed the inside of my palm before returning my hand over my thigh. I counted to ten mentally, imagining Ollie kissing me goodbye the way he actually kissed because he was already a fantastic kisser, and I opened my eyes as soon as he turned the corner out of the mess hall.

After switching Ollie’s stained shirt out for a fresh one, I strolled into the last class late and paused under the doorway at the view before me. In front of Ollie, in my chair, was Maddie. Ollie immediately averted his head from me, reluctant to meet my gaze.

“Take your seat, Miss Jett. This class doesn’t revolve around you,” the professor hissed. My feet moved in front of me toward an empty chair on the opposite end as my insides burned to a crisp.

During the entire hour, my focus was on Maddie. The way she shook her head to move her bangs out of her eyes. The way she turned in her seat to smile up at Ollie. The way she would prop her elbow on his desk behind her, a chance to get closer. I tapped my foot vigorously, impatiently waiting to be dismissed.

“See you all next week,” the professor said, releasing us. Quick scenarios ran through my head. Do I ignore all of this and run out of here? Do I confront Ollie? How does he know her? Does he even know her?

Quickly gathering my things in my arms, I stood too fast, and all my belongings plummeted to the floor. “Shit,” I grumbled and hunched down.

Ollie’s black Chuck Taylors appeared in front of me before he bent down and searched my face. “You okay? You look pale.” He reached for my cheek but dropped his hand before he made contact.

Shaking my head, I said, “I’m fine.”

Ollie gathered my things for me and helped me off the ground, and there she was—Maddie—standing right behind Ollie with a faux surprised expression.

“Mia! Looks like I don’t need to introduce ya to the fella I told ya about,” she said sweetly, but toxins rode the wave of her voice. The boy she had told me about? I thought back to our conversations. The porridge. The cards. The secret boyfriend. My eyes raced back and forth between them as a sickness knotted in my stomach.

“You two know each other?” Ollie asked, surprised.

Maddie gently laid her fingers over his arm. “Mia and I were in the psych ward together.”

Ollie honed in on my expression. He knew me. He knew what I was thinking. “Mia, no …” He snapped his head to Maddie. “What did you tell her?”

“She told me enough,” I said, taking my books from him and walking away before he could stop me.

My eyes blurred while I made my way back to my dorm. As I locked the door behind me, my mind sprinted a million miles a second. It had been Ollie all along. Ollie was her boyfriend. Maddie’s boyfriend was Ollie. No matter which way I deciphered it, it still wasn’t making sense. My breaths ran closer together as I paced my room, ru

Then there was a knock at my door followed by Ollie’s urgent tone. “Mia, open the door.”

I stayed quiet.

“Mia, please …”

I shook my head violently as if he could see. The thought of his lips on hers. The thought of him inside her. It was all too much. My hand shot over my mouth to suffocate my cries as tears streamed down my face.

“Dammit, Mia. Please … let me in so I can explain.” There was pain in his tone, but I wasn’t a fool.

And eventually, Ollie left.

I curled up into a ball over the mattress and brought the sheet over my head, forcing my cries to put me to sleep. Sleep replaced Ollie as my new cure, because otherwise, the hot fury would only send my fist through something. And the only thing deserving to be on the opposite end of my fist was Ollie, but one more mistake and my ass would be on a one-way trip to the mental institution.

During di

“Fu

Zeke looked up at me. His small eyes dilated as he blinked a few times. I forced a smile over at him, almost wanting to reach out and put my hand over his. But I didn’t. Zeke didn’t like to be touched the majority of the time. I’d learned this the hard way.

The feeling of Ollie’s warmth behind me and his breath against my ear stu

“No, Ollie.”

Ollie growled. “Dammit, Mia. If I mean anything to you, you’ll come.” He took a few steps away, paused, then turned back around. “Close your eyes, Mia.”

But I didn’t, and Ollie hung his head and walked back toward me. He planted his palms over the table and leaned in to capture my eyes with his in a plea. “Please, don’t do this …”

I closed my eyes and counted to ten because even though I was upset, I still couldn’t watch him walk away from me.

After he was gone, I opened my eyes and groaned. “If I have to hear one more ‘Dammit, Mia’ I think I will scream,” I said to Zeke, each word increasing in volume, but Zeke sat there stu

The door to my dorm closed behind me when I found Ollie standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed over his chest. He unfolded his arms, took two steps forward, and grabbed my chin, tilting my face up to his. He let out an exhale. “Don’t do this, Mia. We’re stronger than this.”

I pulled my head out of his grasp and took a step back. “Were you guys together?”

Ollie shook his head. “Whatever happened between her and me was before you.”

“She told me you are her boyfriend, Ollie. Are. As in, currently.”

“No, she isn’t right, Mia. She’s delusional. You have to believe I feel nothing for her. Never did, and never will. It’s always you.”

“Or are you juggling two girls? Telling them both to keep the relationship a secret in case the other one finds out? Because”—a laugh pressed through my throat—”that’s fucking brilliant, Ollie. Well done.”

A rush of emotions played across his face, and I instantly regretted every word. In my heart, I knew Ollie. He wasn’t capable of it.

Injury pierced his eyes. “You really think that low of me, yeah? You think I would do something like that?”

Shaking my head, I instantly rambled my regret away. “No.” I closed the gap between us and laced my fingers into his. “God, no, I didn’t mean it. I don’t know what’s the matter with me, Ollie. I’ve never felt like this before. She told me she is your girlfriend. Then I see the two of you together. I feel sick about it. Explain this to me. Tell me what this is.”