Stay with me

“You’re a good listener, unlike everyone else here. We should do this more often.”

A shadow cast over us. My attention followed the source to see Liam hovering over our table. “What are you doing?” he asked, darting his glare between Zeke and me.

“What does it look like? I’m talking to my new friend Zeke here.” I shot a smile over to Zeke, and he flinched under Liam’s shadow.

Liam chuckled as he pulled his blond hair back into a bun. “Whatever floats your boat, Jett. Let’s get out of here. I know a place.”

Liam stuffed his hands into his pocket and arched an impatient brow.

Past Liam, Ollie watched us from his table in the middle of the mess hall. Reminders of last night sent heat through my bloodstream and across the surface of my skin. Don’t ever kiss another before my eyes again, he had said to me moments before I’d broken my hand. Ollie didn’t know I don’t like to be manipulated, and the way his eyes were controlling me made me only want to defy him.

“Yeah, okay.” I stood and turned back to Zeke. “Di

Liam and I walked out of the mess hall and down the corridor side by side. The unknown of what I was walking toward kept my feet in front of me, but the memory of Ollie’s eyes on me consumed my thoughts. Ollie’s gaze wanted to pull me away from Liam, but curiosity kept me moving forward. A constant push and pull.

“Where are we going?” I asked as we turned a corner.

Two girls passed by us, both shooting daggers in our direction as they whispered between one another.

“Hey, Liam,” one practically sang.

Liam only gave them a small nod before he leaned his head into my hair. “Can’t ruin the surprise. You know, I’ve been thinking about your bold move to kiss me yesterday. Most girls aren’t as aggressive.”

Liam and Ollie were the same height, but the way Ollie leaned into me affected me differently.

A short laugh pressed out from my lips. “Don’t flatter yourself. I used you, and I’m not sorry about it.”

Liam looked down at me with hooded blue eyes. “Me neither.” He had a one-tracked mind and wanted to pick up where we’d left off the day before.

We turned another corner, and after walking clear across Dolor, we approached a large black door with “dark room” etched into the plaque beside the door on the wall.

“What is this place?” I asked Liam as he opened the door.

He placed his hand on the small of my back as he guided me in before him. “It’s a dark room for photography. No one comes in here anymore.”

Trays lay evenly across a table in the back as old photos hung from the scalloped string from the ceiling. Machines, looking like they belonged in a science lab, took up most of the space, and I turned to Liam to see a dicey smile. His hungry eyes glowed in the dark red lighting of the small and stifling room.

“I enjoyed our kiss yesterday.” Liam took a step forward. He gripped my waist as he leaned down.

“No.” I held up a hand to his face. “If we’re doing what I think we’re doing, then no kissing.”

Liam nodded excitedly as his eyes went wild. “Deal.”

His cold hands dipped beneath my shirt, and my muscles stiffened at the touch. What was wrong with me? I’d done this so many times before. “Arms up,” he demanded, and I silently obliged. He lifted my shirt over my head, and there were no words or will inside me to stop him as he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

Stupor robbing me of my intelligence, I reached behind my back and unlatched my bra. Liam’s eyes went weak at the sight of my breasts before he cupped them in his hands. Guys like Liam needed this. You would think they were confident, secure, but they were anything but. Guys like Liam had the endless need to feel they were wanted and accepted.

“Fuck, you’re so sexy,” he said, and when he leaned in, I pulled away. “Sorry, I forgot. No kissing. Won’t happen again.”

I unbuttoned his jeans as he undid mine, trying to get the deed done and over with as soon as possible. He wouldn’t be able to get me off. It was a never-ending battle with me and countless partners. Reaching an orgasm with anyone was like my success of suicide—an utter and complete failure. (There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say). Perhaps you had to have feelings to get to that point, and if that was the case, I’d been cursed all along.

Liam pulled a condom from his back pocket before pushing his jeans and boxers down to his thighs. His eyes remained on my breasts as he ripped the foil packet between his teeth, then slipped the condom on, turned me around, and tried entering me to find I was dry.

“You’re going to have to help me out,” I said, wondering his limits. There were three kinds of men in this world. The type who would use lubricant, the type who used their fingers, and then there was my favorite kind—the kind who were more willing and eager to please me before their own needs by going down on me, which were few and far between.

Liam pushed me forward over the table and spread my legs with his knee before his fingers stroked my sex.

Rookie mistake.

My eyes closed to see tattoos, green eyes, and an alluring smile when finally, my body reacted. “You’re so wet,” Liam whispered as he pressed his finger inside me. My eyes stayed shut as moments with Ollie clouded every thought, taking me away from what was actually happening. I had to get past this.

Liam gripped my hips as he thrusted inside from behind. He moaned as his body relaxed against me, but shortly after, a need for more of me propelled him into madness. “You feel so good,” he grunted, and I ignored each comment he made thereafter. I’d heard them all before. You feel so good. You’re so tight. You’re so sexy. None of the comments ever did anything for me. I wanted silence.

Liam liked it hard and fast and grunted with each pump as I pretended to enjoy it for his sake. It was better for the both of us. The sooner he got off, the sooner this would be over, and after about four minutes of mental misery, it was.

He pulled out and rested his hands over the table as guilt immediately invaded me. “That was good, yeah?” His breath struggled to catch up. I pushed off the table and gathered my clothes from around us. “Hey, where you off to in such a hurry?”

I grabbed my bra off the floor and put it on as my eyes searched for my shirt in the dark. “I need to get some coursework done.” Shower. I need to shower.

“You’re such a bloke, Mia. Usually, I’m the one bolting after situations like this. Kind of hurts my feelings.”

I pulled the shirt over my head. “You’ll survive.” And I left him alone in the dark room with his pants still pulled down to his thighs.

If I had a dollar for every time I’d put myself in those situations—okay, maybe not a dollar, more like a hundred-dollar bill—then I would have been rich. Sex didn’t mean anything to me, but for some reason, sex with Liam conceived a guilt only growing larger with each step back to my dorm.

With a new pair of shorts and a random shirt in hand, I reached the shower, and the shame and remorse of what I’d done completely took me over. I cursed at myself under the ru

When I exited the shower, I trashed my panties, the only evidence left of the mistake with Liam. Never again.