Stay with me

Ollie pulled back slightly and brushed his parted mouth against mine, testing me—teasing me. I wanted more, and he knew this, but he wanted me to come back for it.

Caving, I reached behind his head and took him. Ollie smiled before our tongues collided, spi

I kept him at arm’s length. “Why?”

Our breathing was erratic.

A mix of defeat and determination washed over his features. “Because I’m selfish,” he whispered and wet his already glistening lips, “and I don’t want anyone else to see any part of you.”

I was jealous of how freely Ollie spoke. I was jealous of the way he had no barriers to hide behind. He wasn’t afraid of anything—rejection, feelings, or the way I was going to destroy him. He wasn’t scared at all.

“Remember, you’re doing this to yourself.” I’d warned him too many times. Now, this was his doing. Not mine. My only problem was having to live in his aftermath.

As I stepped away, he wrapped his fingers around my wrist to prevent me from taking another step. He tilted his head to face me. “You’re in denial.” I jerked out of his grasp and found my seat back in the circle. All eyes were on Ollie as he stood in silence with his fingers gripping his hipbones, breathing still reeling from our kiss. “What?”

“Nothing …” everyone said in unison, averting their gaze and darting their eyes around the room. Ollie fell back onto the mattress and reached for the bottle of whiskey off the floor. He took a long, hard sip as the conversation went back to normal.

The game came to an abrupt end afterward, and the atmosphere died down along with it. Time passed, and Isaac passed out at the end of the mattress. Bria inched her way closer and closer toward Ollie as he finished off the bottle by himself.

His last comment about me being in denial replayed in my head. I wasn’t in denial. What could I have been in denial about? Making myself very clear, I’d told him I had no interest in him. I couldn’t feel. My feelings were all a reaction to the buzz. It would pass. He thought he could come to my rescue with a shirt and a kiss, but I didn’t need saving.

“What did you do to Ollie?” Jake giggled in my ear. The whiskey in Jake’s breath and his inability to whisper both told me he was toasted.

Ollie slumped against the wall, rambling things I couldn’t make out. He could hardly keep his eyes open as Bria tugged on his hair.

“Watch this,” Jake whisper-shouted, pointing in Ollie and Bria’s direction. Glancing back over, Bria swung a leg over Ollie’s lap and my stomach jumped into my throat. He tried pushing her away, but she continued circling her hips over him. “Three … two … one …” Jake counted down, and suddenly Bria forced her lips against Ollie’s. “Like clockwork,” he added, and slowly shook his head.

My stomach lodged in my throat was now doing backflips. “Do they do this when Ollie’s not … when he’s not drunk?”

Alicia joined in on the conversation. “You have to understand something. Ollie doesn’t mess around. He’s not the type.”

“What do you mean?” I couldn’t take my eyes away from Bria’s back as her fingers moved across Ollie’s bare chest—across the chest of the boy who made me feel things I was still trying to understand. My insides twisted as Ollie placed his hands over her arms to pull himself away. No one seemed to care, and with each passing second, the pit in my stomach grew bigger and bigger.

“Ollie provides the fun, but he doesn’t participate. He never gets in on it,” Alicia whispered. “The only time Bria can try to have a chance, is when he’s tore up.”

“Bloody hell, she’s right.” Jake chuckled. “You’re the only one Ollie has willingly kissed, let alone jerked off in front of.”

“So, none of you ever hooked up with him? Not even a kiss?” I asked, and I wasn’t sure why I cared so much in the first place. All I wanted to do was get Bria off him, her hands off him, her lips off him. Ice frosted over my skin in a cold sweat as my eyes burned a hole to the back of her head. Ice and fire. This was different, though. Rage.

A blue and red twisted rage.

Alicia and Jake both shook their heads. “He refuses every time.”

My brows snapped together. “Not even Bria?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” she said. “She’s way more into Ollie than he will ever be into her.”

Jake interjected, “Yeah, Bria normally goes for Isaac by the end of the night. She’ll screw him in front of everyone, but I suppose since he’s passed out first, Ollie was next on her list.”

“This is sick in so many ways, even for me.” My attention stayed on Bria, watching her like a hawk. Suddenly, Bria stood and shimmied off her shorts and panties in one swoop, and my rage turned into a silent mania, slithering through the fire in my veins.

“What do you mean even for you?’” Alicia asked, utterly oblivious to what was happening in front of us, or completely discarding it altogether like it was normal.

“I’m all about sex and a good time, but this is rape! You can’t tell me Ollie knows what he’s doing right now,” I shouted, pointing in Ollie’s direction. Bria sat back down over Ollie’s lap.

Alicia looked over to Jake. “Yeah, but is it our place?”

“Hell yeah, it’s our place.” The mania influenced my legs as I stood to my feet. A few strides later, I peered over Bria as she gripped his length. Like glass, the frost shattered and all was left was the painful fire inside me.

“Mia, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Jake called out, but I didn’t listen.

Gripping Bria by her dumb short hair, I dragged her off and away from Ollie. “What’s wrong with you?” I shouted as she clawed at my hand.

Bria struggled to her feet as her words slurred together. “Get the fuck off me!”

As I threw Bria against the wall, Jake and Alicia stumbled to their own feet. My fist clenched at my sides and I looked back at Ollie who remained oblivious to what was going on around him. He slumped over against the wall to his side before I turned my attention to Bria.

“He’s not a toy you can play with whenever the hell you want …” My eyes darted around the room, and everyone glared at me in a shocking silence, except for Isaac.

Isaac was still passed out in the bed.

Bria’s face turned red as she slid down the wall until her bottom hit the floor. She wouldn’t dare come after me. Shaking my head, I returned to Ollie’s side and fixed the waistband of his boxers and sweatpants, then lifted his head off the wall. “Ollie, you got to wake up,” I said, holding his head in my hands. Ollie struggled to open his eyes. “Why did you do this? Why did you put yourself in this situation?” It broke something inside me to see him so fragile and defenseless. “Ollie, open your eyes for me.”

Ollie’s lashes fluttered open, and his beautiful green eyes were bloodshot and broken.

“Mia.” He exhaled. “I’m sorry.”

And his eyes closed again.

As I guided his head over the pillow, everyone exited the dorm through the vent. Staying by his side, I wasn’t going to leave the room until Bria was far away from him.

I understood sex. Hell, I understood drunken sex. I could accept messing around, experimenting with genders, and living in the moment, but nothing about this was okay. No one should be allowed to violate someone who didn’t have the right mind to say “no.”