Hate me

Such a stupid, evil whore. 

I’m no better than my swindler father. 

No better than Knox. 

“She’s screwing your husband,” Knox declares, and I swear the entire world stops spi

I drop to my knees, clutching my throat. I feel so sick. 

So fucking disgusting. 

When did I become this person? 

This evil person who does bad things. 

This vile person who steals other women’s husbands. 

This horrible person who hurts other people. 

This person I hate. 

I can’t bring myself to look at her, so I study the carpet. It’s soft and plush. A cream color that she most likely picked out because Leo is terrible when it comes to choosing furniture. 

“I’m sorry,” I choke out, my voice cracking like crystal. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re probably wondering when it began, huh?” Knox questions before turning to me. “Tell her.”  

From my place on the floor, I glare up at him, wishing I could scratch his eyes out. Hell, I just might after this. 

“The night of my father’s funeral.” 

It was right after my exchange with Knox.

The one where he told me he came to see me because he knew I’d be in pain. 

I ran back in crying and Leo ushered me into an empty room. 

I had so many feelings coursing through me. 

I was sad, alone…and missing my dad so much it physically hurt. 

But I was also angry. 

Angry that the only person who ever cared about me was gone…because he was a thief. 

Leo hugged me, trying to console me…but that wasn’t enough. 

I needed to feel something more.  

Something wrong and ugly and real. 

So, I kissed him.

Five minutes later, I was losing my virginity. 

And that was it. 

Knox’s next words punch through the air like a bullet. “She was only sixteen.” His face twists. “Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Aunt Lenora, but now you finally know what a sick piece of shit your husband really is.” 

But it wasn’t all Leo’s fault. 

I was the one who kissed him. 

Tears burn my throat. I try to push them down, but I can’t. 

They pool in my eyes, and before I can stop myself, I start crying so hard it hurts to breathe. “I’m sorry.” I force myself to meet her gaze. “I’m so sorry.” 

I expect her to look at me with revulsion, because it’s what I deserve, but she doesn’t. 

She’s looking at me with pity…

And that only makes me cry harder. 

Reaching down, Knox grabs my elbow. “Let’s go.” 

Hot tears pour down my face like rain as he pulls me to my feet. 

I wish I knew how to make them stop, but I don’t. He’s filleted me wide open, forcing me to confront all the ugly parts of myself before leaving me to bleed out. 

It’s the slowest, cruelest kind of death. 

But the worst part is…I can’t even blame him. 

Because it was my fault.