Hate me

Aspen

It’s Monday morning, and while Mondays notoriously suck…this one is particularly bad. 

There’s no doubt in my mind that nearly everyone saw that video. 

I rub my sweaty palms on my plaid skirt as Knox pulls into the school parking lot. 

I expect him to tease me, especially after the warning he issued a couple days ago, but he remains silent…something I’m thankful for right now. 

My stomach rolls when he cuts the engine. I want nothing more than to run far away from this hellhole and forget everyone and everything. 

Knox stalls, twirling his keys around his finger, as if waiting for me to make the first move. 

But I can’t. 

I sit frozen in the passenger seat of his jeep, unwilling to get out.

Because I know the second I do, all hell will break loose. 

A single tear rolls down my cheek, and I’m so humiliated I close my eyes, clutching the pearls my dad gave me. 

God, I wish he were here right now. 

“You’re go

“Fine by me.” 

His jaw clenches. “Stray—”

“You don’t fucking get it,” I snap, bile rising in my throat. “I was fine being a loser. Yeah, sometimes it sucked, and I got lonely, but for the most part I flew under the radar. No one paid attention to me or gave a fuck about what I did.” I clutch my pearls harder. “But now? I’ll never be able to blend in with the wall. I’ll never be able to walk into a classroom and not think the whispers I hear are about me. When people look at me now…they won’t see an uptight nerd who wears pearls and gets good grades. They’ll only see me with a dick in my mouth. They’ll think that’s all I’m worth.” 

He leans over the seat. “You’re right.” His voice is a low rumble in my ear. “Now, what are you go

I don’t understand what he’s implying. “What do you mean what am I go

“Exactly,” he snaps, cutting me off. “There isn’t a damn thing you can do about what happened.” He opens the door and gets out. “Might as well walk in there and own it.” 

Jesus. He’s insane. “Own being a whore?”

“Ninety-nine percent of the girls walking around school have had a cock in their mouth, Stray. You’re not fucking special.” 

“That may be true, but they weren’t drugged and taped without their—”

“Boo fucking hoo,” he taunts before his voice evens out. “Just because their perception of you has shifted, doesn’t mean yours has to.”

With that, he slams the door and treks over to Shadow’s car. 

Even though Knox is a rude asshole, he kind of has a point. 

I can’t change what happened, or how people will think of me now. 

But I can change how I react to it. 

I can still be the nerd who wears her pearls and gets good grades. 

Besides, there’s only a few months left before we graduate. I never have to see these people again. 

I climb out of the jeep with my head held high, ignoring all the whispers and pointed fingers as I walk to my locker. 

“Are you okay?” Brie questions as I transfer some books into my bag. 

“I’m fine.” 

And even though it’s not true…I pretend it is. 

Because projecting the image I want people to see is something I’ve always been good at.