The devil's advocate

Chapter 20 Eden

I watch in confusion as Damien presses a few keys on his computer keyboard. A moment later his deep voice fills the room.

“Start talking, or I’ll put your small intestines through a meat grinder—”

“All right,” someone who sounds a whole lot like my therapist screams in agony. “I’ll tell you the truth. Just stop hurting me.”

I narrow my eyes. “Why are you threatening my thera—”

“Cain paid me to provide one on one support to his stepdaughter. However, he had very specific rules I had to abide by.” I hold my breath as my therapist continues. “He’d developed an unhealthy fascination with her and that’s putting it mildly. My job was to convince Eden she couldn’t be without him by using her anxiety disorder against her and making her agoraphobia worse.”

“And you agreed to it?” Damien growls. “Do you have any idea how much you fucked her up?”

“I didn’t have a choice,” he protests. “Cain was blackmailing me with things that would have landed me in jail. It was much easier to do what he wanted than to object. Besides, Eden was already looking at him like he strung up the moon after Karen died, it hardly took any convincing to make her believe Cain was her knight in shining armor. I’m not sure if you’re aware of her history, but the girl isn’t exactly what you’d call mentally stable thanks to being doped up on meds and cooped up inside all the time with virtually no socialization, attention, or affection. Her mother already put the nail in her coffin with all her neglect. If you want my professional opinion, what Cain wanted was way more humane.”

“I don’t want your professional opinion, fuckface,” Damien snarls low and deadly. “I want you to tell me what you did to her.”

“Sure, all right. It was relatively simple. Whenever Eden expressed that she wished she was well enough to go shopping or out to the movies like other girls her age, I’d tell her she probably couldn’t handle it because she’d been kept inside for so long. I also reminded her that sometimes bad things happened—like her mother dying in a car accident—when people stepped outside and that she was safer at home. If she seemed like she was going to object, I’d remind her Cain wouldn’t be able to protect her if she left. Then I’d suggest we open the front door together or walk to the mailbox—this way, she’d think she was making progress when in reality she was only becoming more dependent on him, and her agoraphobia became worse.”

My head feels heavy as he continues.

“If she’d make a comment about how she wished she had friends, I reminded her what her old friends did to her. How they laughed and spread rumors after the incident with her teacher. Or how the entire town called her a slut, and how everyone wanted her gone. Then I’d gently remind her that Cain never thought of her that way because he cared about her and he’d always protect her. I’d reinforce that she was safe with him because he’s the one person she could count on.”

“And she never protested? Never argued?”

No.

He laughs. “Are you kidding? The girl was so messed up and infatuated with him by then, I’m not even sure why Cain hired me. It got to the point where I wouldn’t even have to speak his praises, she was wrapped around his finger so tightly. Her world begins and ends with him, exactly like he wants it to.” He sighs. “It’s sad. Eden was a beautiful girl. Smart too. She might have really been something if it wasn’t for his obsession with her.”

He says it like I’m dead.

The room whirls and my chest caves in. I might as well be.

“Hey,” Damien calls out as he walks toward me, his tone softer than I’ve ever heard it.

I turn away. I don’t want Damien near me. I don’t want anyone near me. I just want to lie here on the floor and dissolve into nothing. I close my eyes and hug my knees, curling up into a ball. I want to disappear into thin air, like I never existed…just like my mother wanted me to.

“I tried so hard.” My voice is frail and tattered. “I just wanted her to love me. Why couldn’t she?”

“The woman didn’t deserve your love, Eden.” He touches my elbow. “Sometimes people do shitty things we have no control over, and we excuse it because we love them.” His hand slides around my waist and he lifts me up. “But that’s not a reflection of you. Her problems were just that…hers. You don’t have to keep making them yours.”

I bury my head in the crook of his neck as he walks us over to his chair and sits.

Deep down I know he’s right, but I don’t know how to get out of this cycle. I don’t know how to conquer my past or my disorders and be my own person.

Because of Cain.

I wanted to be loved so badly I ached for it, but I never wanted to be someone’s puppet.

Damien was right. I’m pathetic.

He runs his fingertips up and down my vertebrae. “It hurts like hell right now, and you might feel like your life is over, but this isn’t where it ends. Take your broken pieces and mold them into whatever you want to be. Not what Cain or anyone else wants.”

How can I become something else when I don’t even know who I was to begin with?

Easy. I can’t. I don’t get to start from scratch, because I don’t have anything left that’s worth rebuilding.

My pieces are ugly. Used and manipulated for someone else’s enjoyment.

And it’s not like I can pretend the warning signs weren’t there. Cain’s hurt me so many times I’ve lost count. And each time he’s cut a little deeper.

It was only a matter of time before I’d bleed out.

“I hate him.”

I hate myself for not being stronger.

And for once, my awareness isn’t followed by a swell of love or a trail of tears.

Because there are no more tears left to cry. There’s no more love left to give. There’s no more heart left to break.

There’s nothing but emptiness.

Actually, that’s not quite right. There’s one emotion registering loud and clear.

Rage twists my insides, it’s so intense I shake with the force of it.

I want Cain Carter to burn.

But I don’t want to stand by and watch the flames consume him. No, I want to crawl inside his soul and light the match. I want to taste his pleads and siphon his last breath.

I want to diminish him to a shell of everything he used to be.

“Damien?”

“Yeah?”

I shift myself on his lap so I’m straddling him. “I don’t trust you.”

There’s no way in hell I’d be stupid enough to trust anyone after this—let alone a man like Damien King.

“But I think it’s safe to say you have a partner…for the time being.”

He raises a dark brow. “Ok—”

“A partner, not a prisoner. I refuse to be confined to my room. I want to be able to go wherever I please whenever I please.”

“Fine,” he grits through his teeth.

I’m not done yet. “I’ll also need money. Cain controls every cent I have, and if you want me to parade around on your arm and be your fiancée, I deserve to be paid.”  

I might not be street savvy, but I know money is important. Unfortunately, it’s something I don’t have…and there’s no way I can start over without some.

“Consider it done.” His eyes darken. “Is there anything else you want?”

I flash Damien a coy smile as I sink to my knees.

I want to ruin his life...like he ruined mine.

Cain wanted my world to begin and end with him…

And so help me God, it’s going to.