Broken kingdom

Chapter 45 Bianca

“You’re upset,” Oakley says when I open my door. 

So much for trying to keep my expression neutral. 

“Did you fuck her?” 

My stomach knots. His silence is deafening. 

I’m about to slam the door in his face, but he wedges his foot between it and the frame. 

“Would it bother you if I did?” 

My glare is glacial. “Fuck you.” 

That answer has his lips curling into a smug smirk. “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

Irritation mixed with pain strikes. “Go away.” 

He takes a step in my direction, causing my heart to go haywire. “We both know that’s not what you really want.” Another step. “Unless you’ve turned into a coward.” 

I hate the way he always calls me on my shit. The way he forces me to face the things I’m not ready to face yet. 

“I have a boyfriend.” 

Indignation slices through the hard angles of his face. “You have a crutch, baby girl. A crutch you conveniently use whenever we get too close.” 

I don’t even know what to think right now, only that his words are making my head spin…because there’s so much truth laced in them. 

But I refuse to let him know that. 

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” 

“Yes, I do.” He leans in, his voice a penetrating rasp. “Because I know you, Bianca Covington.” He clasps my jaw in his hand. “We speak a secret language that no one else can understand, and we feel things for each other that don’t make sense to the rest of the world…just us.” 

My heart pounds a steady tattoo against my ribs as I reach up and clutch his t-shirt, drawing him closer. 

I hate that he’s right. 

I hate that I have all these feelings for him, because my life would be way less complicated if I didn’t. 

But mostly? 

I hate that he has the ability to tear me wide open and break me…

Because I love him in a way I’ve never loved anyone else. 

A way I never can love anyone else. 

And I didn’t even need all my memories to come back in order to realize it. 

I just needed him. 

I can feel the tears falling down my cheeks as I peer up at him. “Did you fuck her?” 

I have to know. 

“I didn’t.” A dark note enters his voice. “But maybe I should have.” 

His words are the equivalent of a slap. 

My expression must give away how that statement makes me feel because he says, “Not that I owe you an explanation, but I met her at a meeting. I told her to come by because she said she was having a hard time and needed someone to talk to. I ordered us some takeout and we talked. That was it.” 

I search his eyes for signs that he’s lying, but there aren’t any. “That was it?”

His expression softens the slightest bit, as if he knows how much this conversation hurts me. “Yes.” 

Evidently, I jumped to conclusions about him hooking up with a woman…

Just like I did in the past. 

The silence stretches out between us until the only sound in the room is my frantic heart beating. 

“You said you needed to talk when you came to my apartment,” Oakley says after a few minutes have passed. “What’s up?” 

Sadness blooms in my chest because I know what I’m about to tell him won’t be easy to hear. 

I gesture to my bed. “You should sit down.” 

He doesn’t. 

“What’s going on?” 

I draw in a deep breath, gathering the courage to tell him. 

Writing a note is one thing, saying the words aloud is another. 

“You remember how I told you my mom committed suicide?” 

He nods solemnly. 

“Well, I never told you this, but she was talking to someone on the phone beforehand. She was really upset, and she kept screaming things like she loved him and that he promised they’d get married and be together.” 

I can see the exact moment it dawns on him. “So your mom was having an affair?” He rubs his face. “Christ. I’m sorry—”

I hold up a hand, silencing him. “There’s more.” I motion to my bed again. “You’re go

When he does, I continue. “Obviously, I never told anyone what I overheard before the accident. Hell, I didn’t even understand what it was I was hearing until I was older. Liam suspected something, but I didn’t…” I let my sentence trail off. 

“Want to believe it,” Oakley finishes for me. 

“Exactly. My father and her had some issues, but I thought they were in love. I never thought my mom would cheat on him.” I cross my arms over my chest. “Anyway, when I was fourteen I decided I had enough of not knowing and did some digging. I found her old cell phone stashed away in a box in the closet and looked up the last number she called.” The band around my chest tightens. “It turns out it was her psychiatrist…Dr. Young.” 

For a moment he looks downright incredulous, but then he hangs his head. “Shit.” 

“I know…but, Oakley?” I wait for him to look at me before I say, “There’s still more. And none of it’s good, so I really need you to let me get this out.” 

Despite the concern that floods his face, he nods. “Okay.” 

“I sat on the knowledge for a bit because I didn’t know what to do with it. But then when I was sixteen, I decided to start targeting him.” 

He raises a brow. “Targeting him how?” 

“I blackmailed him. I didn’t need the money obviously, but I didn’t want him having any…so I used to make him write me large checks and cash them in exchange for not telling his wife or daughter about the affair.” 

It was relatively easy because my father was so oblivious back then, he never checked the bank account he set up for me. 

“After, I’d donate them to various charities.” 

Not that doing so makes me an upstanding citizen by any means. 

Oakley blows out a ragged breath. “Jesus Christ, Bianca.” 

“I know.” 

His head snaps up. “You could have come to me. We could have figured out a better way—”

“You hated me remember?” I remind him. 

His blue eyes harden. “I never fucking hated you.” 

Well, he might after I tell him this. 

“Dr. Young wasn’t the only one I blackmailed,” I whisper. “Hayley became my target, too.” 

He makes an angry noise in his throat. “Fucking hell.” He stands. “The videos.” 

I give him a sheepish nod. 

His fury is tangible. “Goddammit, Bianca.” 

“I know it was wrong. I wish I never did it.” 

Even though I didn’t go public with them, it still doesn’t matter. 

The intent was there. 

One wrong move on her end and I would have ruined her life. 

A life that was already ruined by him. 

“It gets worse,” I croak, the room tilting beneath me. “Do you remember the night I stole your phone and met up with Hayley?” 

“Yeah.” His face turns grim. “What did you do?” 

“Nothing.” I look down at the floor because I can’t bear to look him in the eyes. “But I figured out that Hayley was feeding you a bunch of lies about me on purpose…and that she knew about her dad’s affair with my mom.” 

“Nah.” He shakes his head. “Hayley and I were close. Even after we broke up, we remained friends. Plus, she knew Jace and Cole were my boys. She would have told me if her dad had an affair with your mother.” 

“No, she wouldn’t.” 

A snarl rumbles in his chest. “The fuck she wouldn’t—”

“She wouldn’t because she was used to keeping her father’s secrets,” I blurt out. 

“What the hell does that mean?” 

I start pacing. “She confessed something to me that night. Something terrible.”