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Rotting away in a jail cell is exactly what I deserve.
My guts twist with nerves as I walk toward the courtroom.
As if sensing my apprehension, my dad says, “Don’t worry. We made a hell of a good deal in exchange for you giving up Loki.”
Fu
“Negligent vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated,” I whisper, repeating what he told me earlier when he informed me he pulled some strings and got me on the docket today.
“That’s right. It’s a wobbler, but—” Dad gestures to my actual lawyer. “We got them to agree to a misdemeanor.”
My lawyer slaps me on the back. “You’ll be on house arrest for six months…tops.”
Just like a ton of other wealthy, white privileged kids with co My dad grins. “You’ll be fine. The time will fly by.” Jesus fucking Christ. No wonder Hayley’s parents are devastated. Not only did I kill their only daughter—and put the girl I love in a coma that left her with amnesia—I’m about to walk without so much as a slap on the wrist. Bile works up my throat as we amble through the courtroom doors. It’s not fair. “All rise for the honorable Judge Ge My muscles lock up, and a sick sensation slides down my esophagus as my lawyer starts talking. She turned twenty-one in May. For reasons I never understood, she loved listening to Justin Bieber on the highest volume possible and chugged sugar-free Red Bull every morning for breakfast. Fries were her favorite food, but she didn’t let herself have them often because she claimed they made her thighs fat…but they didn’t. The collar of my shirt hugs too tight around my neck. She told me she loved me over di But I couldn’t say it back…because I didn’t feel it. However, I wanted her to find someone who would. But she never will… Because she’s dead. While I’m standing here in a courtroom…two minutes from freedom. Cocking my head, I spot Hayley’s parents. They’re huddled away in a far corner of the bench on the opposite side of the room, holding on to each other like they’re all they have left. Because they are. Her father is trying his best not to cry, while his wife quietly sobs into a tissue. Hayley’s never go Her mother will never help her daughter plan her wedding. And her father will never walk his daughter down the aisle. Because I selfishly took the life they created. And soon, I’m going to brush past Hayley’s parents and go on living mine… While their daughter remains buried six feet under. How the hell are they ever supposed to find peace in that? Easy. They won’t. “I hereby sentence you to six months of house arre—” “No.” My voice punches into the courtroom with the force of a bomb. “I don’t want house arrest.” I’ve spent twenty-one years of my life creating messes that I’ve either let someone else clean up or run away from. Not this time. “What are you doing?” my father mutters, but I ignore him. The judge blinks, no doubt caught off guard by my outburst. “Young man, from my understanding you made a plea agreement for six—” “Fuck the plea agreement.” A few people in the courtroom gasp. Hayley’s parents lift their heads. “Excuse me, young man,” the judge says tersely. “One more word out of you and I’ll hold you in contempt.” “Do something,” my father hisses to my lawyer. Contempt isn’t long enough. “I apologize, Your Honor,” my lawyer chimes in. “My client is going through a—” For fuck’s sake. “I’m not going through anything,” I interject. “Hayley’s parents are. So are the Covingtons.” Because of me. Confusion spreads over Judge Ge “Negligent vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated…that’s what I’m charged with, right?” The judge nods. “That is correct.” “Can you charge me with murder instead?” Because I killed her. “Oakley,” my father snaps. “Stop talking. Now.” The judge’s mouth falls open. “Are you telling me you intentionally kill—” “No. I didn’t, but—” “I’m sorry, your honor, my client is under a lot of stress.” My lawyer clears his throat. “He isn’t thinking clearly.” The judge fixes his glasses. “Well, I suggest you figure out a way to de-stress him so he settles down, or I will hold him in contempt.” Thinking quick, I search my brain, recalling the facts my lawyer rattled off about my charge earlier. “If charging me with murder isn’t possible…can you give me the year?” The judge sighs. “Young man—” “Look, you’re the judge, right? That means you get to override plea deals and can sentence someone to what the court allows for a particular charge.” I might not be a lawyer but being the kid of one means I do know some stuff. “Well, last I checked my charge is punishable by one year in prison in the state of California.” My insides tighten as I look him in the eyes. “And I’m asking you to sentence me to that year.” It’s not much. Still a slap on the wrist, but Jesus fuck…it’s something. “Oakley,” my father hisses, his face turning red with anger. “What the hell are you doing?” The judge slams the gavel down. “Order in the court.” My father once told me there were three times when it was okay for a man to cry. When the love of your life walks down the aisle to meet you at the altar. When your child takes their first breath. And when you bury your parents. But he never mentioned the fourth… Taking a life that wasn’t yours to take. And feeling so fucking guilty about it there’s no amount of drugs or alcohol in the world that will ever numb the pain. “Please,” I plead, my insides churning with shame. “Give me the year. Hell, give me a hundred years.” He slams his gavel down again. “Young man, I’ve repeatedly asked you to settle down. This courtroom is mine, not yours.” He pins me with a look. “I’m hereby sentencing you to three hundred and sixty-five days at the Blackford Correctional Center.” He turns to a man wearing a police uniform. “Take him away.” I lock eyes with Hayley’s parents as they slam cuffs on my wrists. “I’m sorry.” So fucking sorry.