Broken kingdom

Chapter 28 Bianca

“Can I ask you a really messed up question?” I whisper into the darkness. 

Oakley and I are currently lying side by side on the small rug in my dorm because I felt like inviting him to lay on my bed when I have a fiancé would be wrong. 

We’ve been talking so long I don’t even know what time it is. 

Not that I care. 

Time feels like it stands still whenever I’m with him. 

He shifts on the carpet so we’re face to face. “Sure.” 

I chew my bottom lip nervously. “Promise you won’t get mad?” 

“I won’t get mad,” he assures me. 

“Your mom ran off with a drug dealer, right?” 

I immediately regret bringing it up when I see pain slash across his face. 

“Yeah,” he says softly. “Yeah, she did.” 

“I guess I’m just wondering why…” My voice trails off because I don’t have the courage to finish that sentence. 

“I became one?” Oakley finishes for me. 

I nod. 

He rolls over so he’s on his back and stares up at the ceiling. “I don’t know.” His throat bobs on a swallow. “I didn’t really think about her when I started working for Loki, but maybe subconsciously I was hoping she’d find me or some shit.” He snorts. “Christ. I’m a fucking idiot.” 

 “No.” Absentmindedly, I run my fingernails up and down his forearm. “You’re a lot of things, Oakley, but an idiot isn’t one of them.” 

He angles his head so he’s looking at me. “My shitty life choices beg to differ, baby girl.” 

“Then it’s a good thing it’s not too late for you to make some better life choices, huh?”

He sighs. “Trust me, I’m trying. It just seems like no matter which way I turn I keep hitting walls.” 

Before I can stop myself, I reach for his hand. “Then we’ll break them down together.” 

A frown pulls at his lips. “I don’t get it.” 

“Get what?” 

“Why you’d want someone like me in your life. You know what I did, what I’m responsible for. I almost killed you and yet you keep treating me like I’m—”

“Worthy of forgiveness?” I interject. “That’s because you are.” 

And even though it’s the truth, I know it’s more than that. 

So much more. 

Not only did I trust him enough to divulge some of my darkest secrets, Oakley has a way of making me feel…free.

Like I can be myself around him—whatever that is—and he won’t ever judge me. 

“Or maybe it’s because I feel something with you that I don’t feel with anyone else. Something good and raw and pure…and every time I have another flashback it just confirms you’re not the heartless asshole everyone seems to think you are.” 

And whether anyone likes it or not, I know he belongs in my life. 

I feel it in my marrow. 

He shakes his head. “I don’t even know what the fuck to say to that.” 

“Don’t say anything.” Ignoring the strange hurt in my chest, I squeeze his hand. “Just don’t leave me.” 

Because if he does? Something inside me will snap and I’ll never be able to fix it. 

His face is a mask of hurt and purpose as he holds his pinky up before swiping it through mine. “I won’t. Not this time.” 

My chest caves in because pinky promises were me and Liam’s thing. Yet, I can’t bring myself to feel one ounce of resentment about it. 

On the contrary actually. It’s almost comforting. 

We lay there staring at each other for what feels like eternity before he breaks the silence. 

“We need to talk about your shithead fiancé.” 

Oh, boy. Here we go. 

“He’s not a shithead. Although what he said to you was fucked-up and wrong, so I get why you would think that.” 

Stone wasn’t right for what he did, but I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t understand why he went postal when he saw us together. In his mind, Oakley is responsible for almost killing me because he was intoxicated and that’s something Stone won’t ever forgive. 

A flash of rage flickers in Oakley’s eyes. “I don’t give a fuck what he said to me. I don’t like the way he was talking to you.” 

“I know it looked, bad, but he was angry and—”

“Goddammit,” he snaps. “Don’t be that girl. You’re smarter than that. The Bianca I know would never take that shit from him or anyone else.” 

It would hurt less if he slapped me. 

“Well, I’m sorry but you’re stuck with this Bianca now.” 

His blue eyes soften. “That’s not what I meant.” 

“Yes, it was.” Sitting up, I draw my knees to my chest. “Everyone in my life expects me to be a certain way since the accident, but I thought you were different. I thought…” I shake my head because it no longer matters. “I’m trying to put myself back together, okay? But it’s hard when I don’t have all the pieces, and the few pieces I do have…aren’t so great.” 

Except the pieces I have with him. 

Goose bumps break free when he runs his fingers down my back. “I don’t expect you to be anyone else but you, baby girl.” 

I press the heels of my palms to my eyes, so I don’t do something dumb like cry. “I don’t even know what that means because I don’t know who I am.”

And the worst part is? I’m not sure I ever did.

“I get that.” Worry etches his features. “For what it’s worth, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I just wanted to make it clear that if he ever fucking hurts you…” His nostrils flare on an indrawn breath. “Well, let’s just say I’ve gone to jail once, and I’d gladly go back for you.” 

There’s so much conviction behind his words he leaves me no choice but to believe him. 

However, he has no reason to worry. “Stone’s not like that. Sure, he gets upset every now and then, but he’d never hurt me.” 

Not physically anyway. 

That’s when I remember some of my flashbacks. “And you’re one to talk. You haven’t always been Mr. Nice Guy to me.” 

Granted I deserved his wrath back then, but still. Pot meet kettle. 

His brows furrow. “You’re right, I haven’t. But even when I was a dick, I still knew where to draw the line.” Concern fills his face. “I’m not sure he does.” 

It takes everything in me not to laugh. “You’re worrying for no reason. Stone’s never put his hands on me. Not once.” 

My words do little to squash the anger simmering beneath the surface of his gaze. “I hope for his sake he never fucking does.”