Broken kingdom

Chapter 20 Bianca

Past…

I mutter a curse when the windshield wipers turn on. “Shit.” 

I try to turn them off, but that only makes the convertible roof slide up. “Dammit.” 

“What are you doing?” 

My head snaps up at the sound of Oakley’s rough, melodic voice. 

It’s been almost a week since that night and we’ve barely spoken a word to each other. 

He’s also moved back into the guesthouse, so there’s that.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” 

The lopsided grin plastered on his face makes my insides swoop. “Well, it looks like you’re attempting to drive, but—” Peeking inside my car, he gestures to the button next to my steering wheel. “You’re still in accessory mode…you need to put your foot on the brake and press the button to turn the ignition on.” 

He makes it sound so simple. 

He also makes me feel like an idiot because I don’t know the first thing about driving. 

It just seemed like such a shame to let a nice car rot away in the driveway, so I decided to pay it a little visit today. 

“I knew that,” I insist, trying to hide my embarrassment. “I just didn’t turn the ignition on because I’m never going to drive this thing.” 

Ever. 

His brows furrow. “Right.” He starts to walk away but pauses. “If you ever change your mind and want to take it for a spin, let me know and I’ll go with.” 

Dammit. He can’t put a proposition like that on the table and expect me to turn it down. 

It’s like offering a starving person a six-course meal. 

“For real?” I utter before I can stop myself. 

That lopsided grin is back again. “Yeah.” 

My heart dips when he walks away for a second time. 

“Oakley?”

He freezes. “What’s up?”

“I didn’t turn the ignition on because I have no idea what I’m doing.” 

For a moment I think he’s going to laugh or make fun of me like my brothers would, but he doesn’t. 

He ambles back to the car. “Move over.”

Needless to say, I’m confused. 

“Why?” I question as I scoot to the passenger side. 

He opens the driver’s side door. “Because I’m teaching you how to drive.” 

I should protest and refuse. Remind him that the reason I’m never going to drive is because watching my mother die was the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life and I’m forever paralyzed by anxiety. 

But I can’t. 

Because the thought of spending alone time with Oakley, even just for a little while…is worth trying to conquer my fear.

My heart is pounding a mile a minute and my palms are so sweaty I can barely grip the steering wheel without them slipping. 

“I can’t do this.”

This was a horrible idea. 

“Yes, you can,” Oakley assures me. “Take your foot off the brake.”

“What if I hit something?” 

He looks around the empty parking lot.

Oakley suggested we come to Ocean Falls—the same place as my cliff incident—since it’s a privately-owned beach and usually empty. 

Turns out he was right, but it does little to ease my dread. 

“The only thing you could possibly hit is sand and water, baby girl.” He holds my gaze. “But you won’t…because you got this.” 

I don’t feel like I got this…not even a little.

However, I hate appearing weak, especially in front of him. 

“Okay, but if I fuck this up—”

He squeezes my shoulder, sending a bolt of heat rushing through my shaky limbs. “You won’t.” 

My heart folds in on itself. The way he’s looking at me—as if he actually believes I’m capable of doing this is…

Everything. 

Heart in my throat, I take my foot off the brake and switch it to the gas pedal. 

“That’s it.” 

Oakley gives me one of his gorgeous smiles. I’m so distracted by the deep dimple peeking out of his right cheek, I almost crash into a trash can. 

However, Oakley’s still gri

A thrill surges through me as the car picks up speed. “Holy shit. I’m driving.” 

“Damn right you are.” 

It takes everything in me not to cry, because I’m seriously fucking doing it. 

With shaky fingers, I clutch my necklace. 

If only Liam was here to see me. 

And just like that, my heart is crumbling.

I slam on the brake, throw the car in park, and get out, fighting back tears. 

Oakley’s hot on my heels. “Whoa. What happened?” 

“He’s not here,” I choke out, gripping my pendant. “He wanted me to conquer my fear so bad…and now that I finally am…he’s not here to witness it.” 

Because he left me. 

Just like she did. 

Oakley’s face falls, but unlike everyone else in my life—he doesn’t offer me bullshit words of encouragement or tell me Liam’s watching over me. 

He simply takes my hand. “Come on.” 

The secluded beach isn’t large, but the golden sand along with the giant stones and boulders grazing the shoreline make it a perfect spot to unwind in peace. 

I follow Oakley to an oversized rock and plop down next to him, drawing my knees to my chest. 

The sun is starting to go down, bathing the sky in a pretty pink sunset. 

Seagulls fly endlessly above us, and the crisp smell of the ocean fills my nostrils as I inhale a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry for freaking out,” I whisper because I don’t want him to think I’m not grateful for what he did today. 

He studies my face for what feels like an eternity before pulling a small tin can out of the pocket of his jeans. “There’s plenty of shit people should apologize for in this world…but feelings should never be one of them.”

I think about this for a moment, and realize he has a point. Everyone is entitled to their feelings…whatever they are. 

Most people would try to change the subject because death—especially suicide—makes them uncomfortable, but Oakley seems perfectly content letting me disclose whatever’s on my mind. 

It’s refreshing. 

“Sometimes I miss him so much it physically hurts.” 

Miss them both. 

Nodding, he brings a joint to his lips and lights it. “I get that.” 

Bringing my head down, I brush my lips against my knee as the scent of marijuana surrounds me like a fog. “Other times I’m so angry—so fucking livid with them for being quitters and abandoning me—I hate them.” 

He takes a deep drag, speaking through a cloud of smoke. “I get that too.” 

It’s only then I realize what I said. 

Them. 

If Oakley caught on to my blunder, he doesn’t press me about it. 

For some strange reason that only makes me want to tell him even more. 

But I don’t…because I can’t. 

I vowed to take her secret to my grave. 

Wordlessly, I seize the joint from him and inhale, letting the smoke infiltrate my lungs.

A cough escapes me on an exhale, but he doesn’t tease me about it. 

Feeling audacious, I take another puff, my head feeling lighter and my body feeling more relaxed. 

So relaxed I decide to bring up something else that’s been on my mind. 

“Hayley’s been lying to you.” 

I expect him to defend her…just like he always does, but to my astonishment, he doesn’t. 

“I know,” he says softly, prying the joint from me.