Ruthless knight

Sawyer

My fingers press on the ivory keys, filling the church with the melodic chords of “One of Us” by Joan Osborne. 

It’s one of my all-time favorite songs, despite some controversy surrounding it.  

For me, it’s simply a reminder to treat everyone with kindness and love.

Making sure no one is around; I take a breath and start singing the opening bars.

I close my eyes, letting the music and profound lyrics flow through me like a current. 

When I get to the chorus—the one that asks the almighty philosophical question—I tap the pedal and belt it out from the tips of my toes, singing like no one’s listening, because no one is. 

“Your na

Except my granddaddy. 

I should have known better. I love the man, but I’m convinced he’s half minister, half ninja. 

I make room for him on the bench and he sits down beside me. 

“You sound like an angel. You should sing it for next Sunday’s service.” 

He’s been trying to get me to sing an entire song solo for the last ten years, but I’ve made excuses every time. 

“Nah. Mrs. Feeble already asked Uncle Andrew if the choir could sing it a few months ago, but he said the song wasn’t appropriate for a church service.” 

Whereas my granddaddy—who’s technically retired—is more lenient with things, my uncle—the head minister—is strictly by the book and highly opposed to what he calls, new age stuff.   

Sometimes it’s hard to believe they’re father and son given they couldn’t be more different from one another. 

He tuts. “Nonsense. His mother used to listen to it all the time.” 

“Maybe that’s why he doesn’t like it,” I offer. “The reminder probably hurts too much.” 

He nods solemnly. “Yeah, I can see that.” 

My na

The glue that held our family together. 

When she passed away from breast cancer four years ago, she took a huge piece of our hearts with her. 

Our family hasn’t been the same since. 

Moving to California was supposed to be a fresh start for everyone, but it’s only driven us further apart. 

My mother is the church secretary, but she and my uncle don’t really get along, so they do their best to avoid one another. My granddaddy, who was a beloved minister for most of his life, moved here to assist his son, but my uncle treats him like a second-class citizen and abhors his input. 

And my dad? Well, he hasn’t stepped foot inside a church for over two years.

Our family is one giant mess. 

I’m hoping Catherine’s wedding will restore peace, but I have my doubts.  

Luckily the drama hasn’t ruined my relationship with my granddaddy. 

I rest my head on his shoulder. “I miss her.” 

They say time heals all wounds, but some wounds are just too deep to fix. 

Her passing was the first time I ever found myself truly angry with God. 

Thankfully, with some guidance and understanding from my grandfather, I was able to put things into perspective and find my faith again. 

Doesn’t mean losing her hurts any less. 

“I know, darlin’. Me too.” Without missing a beat, he says, “How’s everything at home?” 

I know he’s referring to my parents. 

“About the same.” 

He hums his disapproval. “That’s unfortunate.” Sighing, he puts his arm around my shoulders. “Just keep praying on it. They’ll find their way.”

“I’m starting to think it’s one of those situations where God has already given them the answer, but they’re choosing to ignore it.” 

“Yeah, it might be.” Another sigh. “I’d hate to see them go their separate ways, though. Those crazy kids sure did love each other.” 

It’s true. 

Like something out of a movie, Daddy was the new boy in town who joined the football team, and mama was the pretty, popular cheerleader. 

According to Mama, she took one look at him standing across the cafeteria and it was like cupid struck her with an arrow. She knew instantly he was the one she was meant to spend the rest of her life with. She even declared it to my na

Daddy, however, took a little more convincing. 

According to him, it was like baking bread. At first there was nothing but dough in a pan, but his feelings for her kept rising little by little, until…bam. An alarm bell started going off. However, in typical guy fashion, he tried to ignore them until it was almost too late. 

Fortunately, he came to his senses and managed to salvage his loaf before it walked away with Richard Samson.  

After that, they were inseparable. Like peas and carrots. 

My parents weren’t just high school sweethearts…they were high school soulmates. 

None of us understand how things got so bad between them. 

I don’t even think they do. 

“I used to wish they would start talking to one another again, but now that they are, I’m starting to wish they’d go back to not talking.” 

This week has been nothing but non-stop bickering between them. 

He squeezes my hand. “It can’t be easy for you. Especially with Catherine gone.” 

He ain’t lying. With my sister away, I’m the one they focus all their energy on. 

Mama with her unhelpful comments about my weight, and Daddy with his sad eyes encouraging me to do well in school so I can get a scholarship. 

It’s a lot of pressure. 

Add the situation with Cole to the list and I’m liable to blow a gasket any minute. 

I know he wants an answer, but I still haven’t decided. 

My heart says yes, but my brain says no freaking way, and I don’t know which one to listen to. 

I turn to look at my grandfather. “Can I ask your advice about something?”

“That depends.” There’s a humorous gleam in his eye. “Are you asking advice from your minister or your granddaddy?” 

And that right there is my favorite quality about him. 

He’s a man of God, but he’s also in touch with his humanity.

I give him the same answer I always do. “Both.” 

“Okay, little lady. Let’s hear it.” 

“Well, there’s this boy—”

“I don’t like the sound of this at all,” he mutters. 

I can’t help but laugh. “It’s not like that.” 

The realization I’m lying in the house of God hits me. 

“It’s a little like that,” I amend. “You see, I used to have a crush on him, until he did something not so nice to me. We haven’t spoken since then, but now he needs my help.” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “Thing is, he’s a rude, selfish jerk on the outside, but on the inside…he’s…I don’t know. There’s good in him, Granddaddy. He doesn’t like to show it, and he might not even realize it himself…but I feel it.” 

He thinks about this for a minute before replying. “It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind about this fella.” 

I try not to point out that no one uses the term fella anymore. 

“What makes you say that?” 

“You ended with a positive. You can tell a lot about how someone feels about a person by the way they end a statement, especially when they’re feeling conflicted about them.”

Hmm. I’ve never thought about it like that before, but it makes sense. 

“So do you think I should help him?” 

He folds his hands together, pondering. “Well, as a minister, I’m supposed to remind you how important it is that we love, accept, and help one another in the name of God.” He makes a face. “But as your granddaddy—I think you should tell him to kiss your grits and find help elsewhere, because no boy should ever hurt my grandbaby.”