Ruthless knight

Sawyer

Waking up from a coma feels like being told you attended some epic wild party…that you have absolutely no recollection of.

At first you have no idea why everyone is making such a big deal about it…until they start filling you in on all the pieces you missed. 

I had a heart attack—or cardiac arrest—depending on which parent of mine you talk to. 

I was in a coma for seven days. Yikes. 

And the scariest of all…I was taken off life support. Holy shit. 

No wonder my parents are looking at me like I’m a ghost. I almost was. 

“Are you okay?”

“Do you need anything?”

“Is there anything we can get you?”

“Are you cold?”

“Do you want a blanket?”

“What’s two plus two?”

My head swirls as I try to process all these questions. 

“I think she needs a little more time,” Cole says, wrapping his arm around my waist. Despite the nurses trying to kick him out of my bed, he refuses to leave. Which is just fine by me. “We need to give her some space.” 

Thank God someone said it.  As happy as I am to see everyone—and to be alive—I need a minute to play catch up and get my bearings.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Mama questions. “What’s five plus five?”

Daddy giving me CPR in the bathroom and ten. 

I open my mouth to answer, but Daddy sighs. 

“Jolene, will you stop?” 

“I’m just trying to make sure she’s not brain damaged.”

Say what? “Brain damaged?” 

The terror in my voice must be evident because Cole barks, “Out. Now. The doctors specifically told us to take it slow and you’re scaring the shit out of her.” 

Nodding, Daddy points to the door. “You heard him.” 

Mama looks like she wants to argue but stalks off instead.

Well, okay then. 

My eyes ping-pong between Cole and my dad. “Do I have brain damage?” 

They exchange a worried glance. 

“Do you feel like you do?” Cole asks. 

I think about this for a second and decide even if I did, it probably isn’t something I’d be aware of anyway. “No?”

A smile plays on his lips. “I think you’ll be just fine, Bible Thumper.” 

I look at my dad. “You gave me CPR.”

His forehead wrinkles. “Of course, I did.” 

“I thought you hated me,” I whisper.

I thought everyone hated me.  

The pain in his eyes is unmistakable. “Never in a million years, sweetheart.” 

My throat prickles as I reach for his hand. “I hate fighting with you. Let’s never do it again, okay?”

Smiling, he gives it a squeeze. “Deal.” Wiping away tears, he stands up. “Is there anything you want? Anything I can get you?”

Water. Lots and lots of water. My mouth feels like the Sahara. 

“Am I allowed to have water?”

He juts his head toward the door. “Let me go find out. If so, I’ll bring you the best water I can find, okay?”

“Sounds perfect.” 

He’s walking to the door when I halt him. “Daddy?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” 

It feels like forever since I’ve told him and that is not okay. Especially after what happened. 

His eyes become glassy. “I love you too, sweetheart.” 

I turn to Cole. “You.” 

He cocks his head to the side. “Yeah?”

I lean my forehead against his. “I love you, too.” 

A triumphant grin plays on his lips. “I know.” 

An awkward silence descends as we both tiptoe around the elephant in the room. 

I can’t even imagine how he feels. If Cole kept something like this from me, and then almost died because of it…I’d be utterly devastated. 

His pain trumps any embarrassment I feel. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

Anger tightens his features. “Are you done?”

“Done?”

“Taking pills to lose weight you didn’t need to lose to begin with and lying to me about it?” 

Wow…talk about a loaded question. 

I mean the obvious answer is yes…I don’t want to die. 

But my head space regarding my weight? I don’t know how to answer that. I’m one hot mess right now. 

The only thing I can tell him is the truth.

“I almost lost you and everyone else I care about.” I grab his face. “I don’t ever want that to happen again. I’m done taking Adderall.” 

Bringing my hand to his mouth, he kisses the inside of my wrist. “Then I accept your apology. But you better believe I’m going to be on your ass about this.” Deep lines of pain form along his forehead and his voice drops to a whisper. “I thought you were going to die, Sawyer.” His hurt is so tangible I feel it blazing right through me. “I thought you gave up on me…on us.”

A deep ache fills my chest. I hate what I put him through.

Choking back emotions that feel like razor blades, I utter, “I promised that would never happen.”

I meant it. 

The only thing I remember from my coma was feeling like someone was waiting for me and that I needed to get to them as soon as possible. 

That someone was my Colton. 

Colton who’s looking at me with so much love it takes my breath away. “I love you, Bible Thumper.” 

“I love you,” I tell him again, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from what happened, it’s that you can never tell the people you care about that you love them enough.

You never know what words might be your last.  

He goes to kiss me, but I stop him. “I’ve been in a coma for seven days, remember?” 

“I don’t give a fuck,” he says before he slams his mouth against mine. 

My dad clears his throat. “I got you some water.” He glares daggers at Cole. “One of these days I’m go

Cole just smiles. “No, you won’t.” 

 

 “Hey,” Dylan says as she taps on the door. “Can I come in?” 

“Of course.” 

She takes a few steps forward, then hesitates, wringing her hands. “I’m really sorry—”

“Dylan.”

She has nothing to apologize for. 

Our eyes meet…and then she’s ru

“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I’m so sorry.” 

“I love you,” she whispers. “You scared me so much.” 

My chest constricts as I hug her tighter. “I love you, too. I’m so sorry.” 

She edges away, cupping my face in her hands. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, Sawyer.” 

Oh, man. I was already teary-eyed, now she’s going to make me cry so hard I’ll have snot coming out of my nose. 

“I—”

A knock at the door cuts me off. 

“Sorry to interrupt,” some woman says. “But I need to speak with Sawyer privately.” 

Uh-oh. This can’t be good. 

I’ve been awake for almost two whole days now and I’ve never seen this woman in my life.

Dylan looks between us before her gaze lands on me. “I’ll be right outside, okay?”

I want to tell her not to leave, but this woman doesn’t look like she’d approve.

“Okay.” 

She gives my hand a squeeze before she walks off. “Can I get you anything while I’m gone? Juice? Wat—”

“Are you still my best friend?” 

Her smile reaches her eyes. “Always.” 

I return her smile. “Then I’m good.” 

My eyes drift to the woman pulling up a chair beside my bed. 

Like me, she has brown hair and brown eyes…only her eyes are harsh. 

Like she means business. 

Oh, boy.