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Cole
I watch in confusion as they cart her bed down the hall.
It’s only been a little over forty-eight hours since she was admitted, so I don’t understand the sudden room switch.
I look at her parents. “Why are they moving her?”
They exchange a forlorn glance.
Mr. Church glances at his wife. “I’ll tell him. You go grab us some more coffee.”
Teary-eyed, Mrs. Church nods before she takes off.
Apprehension rises in my throat. “Tell me what?”
He puts his arm around me. “Come on, let’s take a walk.”
I maneuver away from him. “I don’t want to take a walk. I want to know what’s going on with Sawyer.”
He motions for me to sit down on a nearby chair, but I don’t.
With a heavy sigh, he points to a large room with clear walls near the nurse’s station. “They’re moving her there so they can keep a better eye on her…make sure they don’t miss any signs that she’s improving.”
“How can they look for signs of improvement when she can’t move because she’s in a coma? A coma they put her in.”
His shoulders slump. “There is no easy way to say this.” Folding his hands, he looks down at the floor. “The doctor said we’d know more about her outcome after the first forty-eight hours. But the first forty-eight hours have come and gone…and she’s still not improving.” His eyes close. “The lack of improvement isn’t because of the coma…it’s because she’s not responding.”
I guess I’m an idiot because that doesn’t make sense. “But she’s—”
“They’ve been weaning her off the medication…so she should have started showing signs.” Emotion clogs his throat. “The doctor said they’ll give it some more time though because she’s so young. However, even if she does come back, he said she won’t be…she’ll be different.”
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means brain damage, Cole. But we won’t really know until she wakes up.” Tears slide down his cheek. “If she ever wakes up.”
Infuriation courses through me. “She will.”
She has to.
“The doctor thinks you have brain damage,” I tell her. “I know it’s scary and it really sucks, but…we’ll make it through this.” I squeeze her hand. “Truth be told, you’re so damn smart…a little brain damage might enable the rest of us to finally catch up with you…you know?”
Leaning over her bed, I place my lips on her forehead. “Whatever happens when you come back to me…I’ll still love you. And I promise I’ll never ever fucking leave you. Just please, Sawyer. Come back to me.”
Because without her…there is no me.
“I’m sorry I said those things the other day,” Dylan says beside me. “I was angry and devastated.”
I turn to look at her. “And now?”
“I’m fucking petrified.” She starts sobbing so hard she shakes. “Her mom doesn’t think she’ll make it.”
That doesn’t surprise me one bit. She’s always thought the worst of her daughter…why would now be any different?
“Her mom is a cunt.”
She snorts through her tears. “Yeah, she is. God, she really fucking is.”
I cut my gaze to hers. “Don’t give up on her.”
“I won’t…I just.” Her bottom lip quivers. “I miss her.”
I miss her, too.
“Get out.”
Mrs. Church stares at me with wide eyes. “I beg your pardon?”
“You have no right to see her when you’re going around telling people she won’t make it.” I grab her by the elbow and haul her ass back out to the hallway. “Get the fuck out.”
She struggles against me, but I’m stronger. “Get your hands off me right now before I call security.”
Mr. Church rushes over to us. “What the hell is going on?”
Face full of shock, she peers up at her husband. “Cole is trying to kick me out of my own daughter’s room.”
Hell fucking yeah, I am. Sawyer can’t speak right now, so I’ll speak for her.
“A daughter you don’t fucking deserve,” I seethe as I look at Sawyer’s dad. “You know as well as I do, she’s a big reason Sawyer started taking those pills, sir.” I turn my glare on her. “Maybe no one has the guts to say it to your face, but I will. You’re poison. A horrible fucking mother. You might be pretty on the outside, but you sure as hell are hideous on the inside.”
She slaps me. Hard. But I don’t care.
“I’ll never understand how someone as beautiful as Sawyer ever came out of someone as ugly as you.”
She rears back. “How dare you.”
“How dare you, lady. How dare you make your daughter feel like she’s not good enough when she is everything that is right with the world. How dare you give up on her when she’s fighting like hell to come back to me.” I look at Mr. Church. “There is never a reason good enough to stay with someone who treats her own flesh and blood like she does. Ever.”
Mr. Church’s eyebrows shoot up. “I—”
“Cole’s right,” Dylan says behind me. “I was there for one of the dress fittings. Sawyer had already lost a little weight at that point and was feeling good about herself. I don’t think she was looking to lose more, but your wife insisted she needed too.”
He turns his now livid eyes on his wife. “Jolene—”
“It was a wedding,” she screams. “My gosh, you people are acting like I told her to starve herself. I had no idea she was taking pills to lose the weight. I never would have been okay with that.” She jabs a finger in the air. “I just wanted her to be healthy with some diet and exercise. That doesn’t make me a bad mother.”
Mr. Church makes a painful noise in his throat. “What about happy?”
Jolene looks like that’s a foreign concept to her. “I don’t—”
“You spent so much time worrying about her weight and what other people thought…but zero worrying about her happiness.” His expression is etched with pain as he brushes past her. “You make me sick.”
“Well, I told your mother off,” I inform her. “And before you get mad, I don’t regret it. Not one single bit. She needed to hear how much she was hurting you.” I kiss her hand. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again, Sawyer. Not without me hurting them right back and making them pay.”
I kiss her forehead. “I just need you to wake up so I can prove it to you.”
Because without her…there is no me.
“I spoke to the coach at Duke’s Heart,” Jace says. “He sends his…” he stops short before he finishes his sentence. “He told me to have you to give him a call and reschedule whenever you’re able to.”
I don’t care.
The only thing I care about is her.
He squeezes my shoulder. “You’ve been here for five days. I think you should go home and rest for a bit. Or at least take a shower.”
No. I need to be here the second she wakes up.
Because she will wake up.
She has to.
“I’m obviously not doing something right. Something that you need…so why don’t you just give me a hint…some small clue…so I can fucking do it.”