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Sawyer

I’m walking out of the bathroom when I notice a partially open door down the hall. 

Thinking it must be Bianca, I head that direction so I can say hey. 

I feel like an idiot when I realize it’s not her after all…it’s no one. 

I’m about to turn and leave when I notice the big block letters above a shelf. 

Liam. 

My conscience says I have no business being in this room and I should walk away.  

But my curiosity is too strong to override it. 

Cole won’t talk about him…ever. 

And Dylan and Jace talk about him like he was a saint…which isn’t very useful because it does nothing to help me understand why Liam and Cole didn’t get along. 

Usually you can get a sense about someone by their room…what things they like, the kind of stuff they’re into, the kind of personality they might have. 

There’s a sharp prick of sadness the moment I step inside Liam’s. 

It looks like the typical room of any thirteen-year-old boy. 

A life that was over way too soon. 

Heaviness fills my chest as I take in the green comforter and pillows on the bed.

Cole said it was their favorite color. 

I wander over to the desk. There are some Post-its, highlighters, and a few notepads full of notes. 

Like me, Liam took school seriously. 

We even had the same scientific calculator…and a map of the solar system above our desk. 

I smile when I spot the periodic table of elements. 

I remember learning it when I was in seventh grade…and then rushing to make a photocopy at the library later that day so I could jump ahead and memorize every one. 

I wonder if he did the same. 

Too bad I’ll never know. 

Wandering over to his dresser, the first thing I notice is the lack of dust. 

Someone comes in here and cleans. 

There’s something so tragic about that. As if they’re trying to preserve his memory. 

Hoping he’ll come back home one day. 

My eyes linger on a picture in a frame. 

With shaky fingers, I pick it up. It’s the Covingtons. All of them. In what must have been much happier times.  

I knew Cole’s mother was a Bollywood dancer, and therefore beautiful, but I’m still taken back by how breathtaking she was. 

And how much Bianca resembles her.  

My gaze travels to their father next. He’s tall, easily towering over six feet. Must be where Cole and Jace get their height from. 

He’s also very good looking. Almost too good looking. 

Whereas Jace has features from both his parents, and Bianca clearly favors her mother…Cole is the spitting image of his dad with his striking green eyes and fair skin. 

I can’t help but notice the way they’re lined up in the photo. Bianca—who’s still a toddler in the picture—is being held by her mother, and all three boys are on the floor. Liam and Cole—who are dressed so similarly, I honestly can’t tell them apart—are sitting on opposite sides of Jace…both sporting scowls. 

Like they couldn’t stand to be next to one another. 

I’m about to put the picture back when I spot a Bible on the dresser. Cole isn’t religious, and neither Jace nor Bianca have ever mentioned religion before, so it’s surprising.  

Not to mention, it isn’t something you’d typically find in the bedroom of a thirteen-year-old boy. 

I can’t help but notice that one of the pages is bookmarked. 

Holding the frame in one hand, I open it. 

My heart skips when I realize the bookmark is a picture of two precious identical babies in a crib…holding hands while they sleep. 

It’s such a beautiful moment captured. 

I’m about to close it, when I notice there’s a scripture circled. 

‘If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, ca

                                                         —1 John 4:20-21

The phrase ‘hates his brother’ is underlined.

My eyes well with tears. The once beautiful picture now feels tarnished somehow.  

The scripture itself is a reminder that we should all love one another. But given the picture, the underlining, the relationship he had with his twin…I could see how one might take it very literally. 

Especially if they’re grieving and searching for answers. 

An eerie feeling burrows in my gut. 

I knew Cole had his reasons for not believing—and that’s okay, it’s his choice—I just can’t help but feel like this might have something to do with it. 

 “What the hell are you doing in here?”

Cole’s icy voice startles me and the picture frame falls from my hand. 

“I’m so sorry.” Not thinking, I drop to the floor and pick up a shard of broken glass. “Sh—shoot,” I say as the glass slices through my finger, remembering I’m still holding onto the Bible. 

Cole leans down. 

There’s a dark, menacing look in his eyes as he examines my finger. “I warned you you’d cut yourself on my fucked-up pieces, Bible thumper.” His teeth flash white and he points to the closet. “That’s where he did it. Wa

I open my mouth to apologize again, but he doesn’t give me a chance. “Let yourself out when you’re finished snooping.” 

With that, he storms out of the room.  

A moment later, the front door slams shut.