A Midsummer Night’s Dream

QUINCE “Ninus’ tomb,” man! Why, you must not

speak that yet. That you answer to Pyramus. You

speak all your part at once, cues and all.—Pyramus,

enter. Your cue is past. It is “never tire.”

FLUTE O!

As Thisbe. As true as truest horse, that yet would never

tire.

Enter Robin, and Bottom as Pyramus with the

ass-head.

BOTTOM, as Pyramus

If I were fair, fair Thisbe, I were only thine.

QUINCE O monstrous! O strange! We are haunted. Pray,

masters, fly, masters! Help!

Quince, Flute, Snout, Snug, and Starveling exit.

ROBIN

I’ll follow you. I’ll lead you about a round,

Through bog, through bush, through brake,

through brier.

Sometime a horse I’ll be, sometime a hound,

A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire,

And neigh and bark and grunt and roar and burn,

Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.

He exits.

BOTTOM Why do they run away? This is a knavery of

them to make me afeard.

Enter Snout.

SNOUT O Bottom, thou art changed! What do I see on

thee?

BOTTOM What do you see? You see an ass-head of your

own, do you?      Snout exits.

Enter Quince.

QUINCE Bless thee, Bottom, bless thee! Thou art

translated!      He exits.

BOTTOM I see their knavery. This is to make an ass of

me, to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir

from this place, do what they can. I will walk up

and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear

I am not afraid.

He sings.      The ouzel cock, so black of hue,

With orange-tawny bill,

The throstle with his note so true,

The wren with little quill—

TITANIA, waking up

What angel wakes me from my flow’ry bed?

BOTTOM sings

The finch, the sparrow, and the lark,

The plainsong cuckoo gray,

Whose note full many a man doth mark

And dares not answer “nay”—

for, indeed, who would set his wit to so foolish a

bird? Who would give a bird the lie though he cry

“cuckoo” never so?

TITANIA

I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again.

Mine ear is much enamored of thy note,

So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape,

And thy fair virtue’s force perforce doth move me

On the first view to say, to swear, I love thee.

BOTTOM Methinks, mistress, you should have little

reason for that. And yet, to say the truth, reason

and love keep little company together nowadays.

The more the pity that some honest neighbors will

not make them friends. Nay, I can gleek upon

occasion.

TITANIA

Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.

BOTTOM Not so neither; but if I had wit enough to get

out of this wood, I have enough to serve mine own

turn.

TITANIA

Out of this wood do not desire to go.

Thou shalt remain here whether thou wilt or no.

I am a spirit of no common rate.

The summer still doth tend upon my state,

And I do love thee. Therefore go with me.

I’ll give thee fairies to attend on thee,

And they shall fetch thee jewels from the deep

And sing while thou on pressed flowers dost sleep.

And I will purge thy mortal grossness so

That thou shalt like an airy spirit go.—

Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Moth, and Mustardseed!

Enter four Fairies: Peaseblossom, Cobweb,

Moth, and Mustardseed.

PEASEBLOSSOM Ready.

COBWEB And I.

MOTH And I.

MUSTARDSEED And I.

ALL Where shall we go?

TITANIA

Be kind and courteous to this gentleman.

Hop in his walks and gambol in his eyes;

Feed him with apricocks and dewberries,

With purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries;

The honey-bags steal from the humble-bees,

And for night-tapers crop their waxen thighs

And light them at the fiery glowworms’ eyes

To have my love to bed and to arise;

And pluck the wings from painted butterflies

To fan the moonbeams from his sleeping eyes.

Nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies.

PEASEBLOSSOM Hail, mortal!

COBWEB Hail!

MOTH Hail!

MUSTARDSEED Hail!

BOTTOM I cry your Worships mercy, heartily.—I beseech

your Worship’s name.

COBWEB Cobweb.

BOTTOM I shall desire you of more acquaintance, good

Master Cobweb. If I cut my finger, I shall make

bold with you.—Your name, honest gentleman?

PEASEBLOSSOM Peaseblossom.

BOTTOM I pray you, commend me to Mistress Squash,

your mother, and to Master Peascod, your father.

Good Master Peaseblossom, I shall desire you of

more acquaintance too.—Your name, I beseech

you, sir?

MUSTARDSEED Mustardseed.

BOTTOM Good Master Mustardseed, I know your patience

well. That same cowardly, giantlike ox-beef

hath devoured many a gentleman of your house. I

promise you, your kindred hath made my eyes

water ere now. I desire you of more acquaintance,

good Master Mustardseed.

TITANIA

Come, wait upon him. Lead him to my bower.

The moon, methinks, looks with a wat’ry eye,

And when she weeps, weeps every little flower,

Lamenting some enforced chastity.

Tie up my lover’s tongue. Bring him silently.

They exit.

Scene 2

Enter Oberon, King of Fairies.

OBERON

I wonder if Titania be awaked;

Then what it was that next came in her eye,

Which she must dote on in extremity.

Enter Robin Goodfellow.

Here comes my messenger. How now, mad spirit?

What night-rule now about this haunted grove?

ROBIN

My mistress with a monster is in love.

Near to her close and consecrated bower,

While she was in her dull and sleeping hour,

A crew of patches, rude mechanicals,

That work for bread upon Athenian stalls,

Were met together to rehearse a play

Intended for great Theseus’ nuptial day.

The shallowest thick-skin of that barren sort,

Who Pyramus presented in their sport,

Forsook his scene and entered in a brake.

When I did him at this advantage take,

An ass’s noll I fixed on his head.

Anon his Thisbe must be answered,

And forth my mimic comes. When they him spy,

As wild geese that the creeping fowler eye,

Or russet-pated choughs, many in sort,

Rising and cawing at the gun’s report,

Sever themselves and madly sweep the sky,

So at his sight away his fellows fly,

And, at our stamp, here o’er and o’er one falls.

He “Murder” cries and help from Athens calls.

Their sense thus weak, lost with their fears thus

strong,

Made senseless things begin to do them wrong;

For briers and thorns at their apparel snatch,

Some sleeves, some hats, from yielders all things

catch.

I led them on in this distracted fear

And left sweet Pyramus translated there.

When in that moment, so it came to pass,

Titania waked and straightway loved an ass.

OBERON

This falls out better than I could devise.