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So Pony Billy trotted away once more; and Sandy and Je
“It would have meant a good bit of corn for us if they had all paid for tickets,” said Sandy, regretfully, “but then the sparrows would not have come; and I have doubts about Charles. He would never have taken tickets for all those hens.”
Sandy was inspecting the audience through a hole in an old curtain which was hung on the line between two clothes-props. Behind the curtain was a small platform (in fact, a box wrong-side up); and behind the platform were the steps of the caravan. So the stage was conveniently situated in front of the caravan door. Iky Shepster directed the performance from the roof above.
“Are you all seated? (Pull the curtain, Sandy.) Cow! pigs, poultry! and gentlemen—” (murmurs and churtlings from Charles) “dogs, cat, poultry, and gentlemen, I beg to explain that a concatenation of unforeseen circumstances has caused this performance to be curtailed gratis” (hear, hear, chirped the sparrows) “because Mr. Pony William isn’t here, and Mr. Patrick Pig is unwell, and the Pigmy Elephant has gone to Blackpool, wherefore—” “Cluck, cur, cluck, cuck-cluck! when do you expect him back?” interrupted Charles, “—has gone to Blackpool for a month, wherefore the rest of us will present a dramatic sketch in six scenes accompanied by recitation. I should also say the Live Polecats and Weasels are poorly but the Fat Dormouse of Salisbury will be exhibited in a cage on account of that cat; likewise the Sultan—” “Cluck, cur, cluck, cluck, cluck! my hens would prefer not to see the polecats.” “You ain’t going to see them. Act I, Scene I,” said Iky Shepster.
The door of the caravan opened and Je
“Old Mother Hubbard she went to the cupboard,
To get her poor doggie a bone,
When she got there – the cupboard was bare,
And so the poor doggie had none!”
Je
“She went to the barber’s to buy him a wig,
When she came back he was dancing a jig!”
For this scene Sandy came on first by himself; he danced a lively “pas seul,” spi
“She went to the baker’s to buy him some bread,
When she came back the poor dog was dead!”
Je
“She went to the joiner’s to buy him a coffin,
When she came back the poor dog was laughing!”
“Cuck, cur, cluck! I’ve heard the whole of this before,” said Charles.
“She went to the butcher’s to buy him some tripe,
When she came back, he was smoking a pipe!”
“Cuck, cur, cluck! that, I have certainly heard,” said Charles. Sandy was becoming so angry that he could scarcely hold the pipe in his mouth, or restrain himself from jumping off the stage at Charles. “Scene VI,”said Iky Shepster severely, to the audience, who, however; were all listening with respectful attention, excepting Charles. “Scene VI, whichnone of you can have heard before, because I only invented it this minute (play up, Sandy!).
“She went to the grocer’s to buy him some cheese,
When she came back the poor dog did sneeze!”
Sandy relieved his indignation by letting off a terrific “K’tishoo!” “Scene VII and last,” said Iky Shepster.
“The dame made a curtsey, the dog made a bow,
The dame said, ‘Your servant’; the dog said ‘Bow-wow!’”
“Cluck, cluck, cluck! very good, very good!” said Charles the cock; while the birds clapped their wings, and the dogs barked applause. “Now, Charles, get on the platform yourself and give us something.” “Certainly, with pleasure,” said Charles. Up he flew and commenced—
“This is the cock that crowed in the morn,
That waked the priest all shaven and shorn,
That married the man all tattered and torn.
That kissed the maiden all forlorn,
That milked the cow with the crumpled horn,
That tossed the dog that worried the cat,
That killed the rat that ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.”
“Well done, Charles! A tale that was told in the city of Ur, of the Chaldees; and none the less interesting, although we have heard it before!”
The entertainment concluded with a few conjuring tricks performed by Iky Shepster, who was an adept at causing things to disappear. Xarifa’s scissors were still missing, and the teaspoons were a short count.
Je
Iky Shepster laughed and chittered and flew to the top of the chimney stack. He fluttered his wings and whistled to the setting sun, and to a very pretty speckled starling, perched on the next chimney pot. The ducks waddled home from the orchard. The hens became tired of waiting for the Pigmy Elephant and came home to roost. The camp was left in peace. There were white violets under the orchard hedge, they smelled very sweet in the evening.
“Je
“I ca