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"God" was their name for the hypothetical biggest-alpha-male-of-all. Being primates, they could not comprehend how anything could run if there weren't an alpha male in charge of it.
They assumed the universe was imperfect because it was obviously not set up for the convenience of domesticated primates.
The universe was not even designed for the convenience and comfort of the six-legged majority on Terra. The convenience and comfort of planetside species has very little to do with the cosmic drama.
A few of the primates had realized this. They were known as cynics.
Cynics were primates who realized the monotonous life-death cycle of terrestrial life, but were not imaginative enough to conceive of future evolution after longevity and escape velocity had been attained.
Planetary life is cyclical because planets themselves follow cyclical orbits about their mother stars. (See Galactic Encyclopedia, "Larvel Stages of Species Development.")
The six-legged majority on Terra, for instance, followed a life script of four or more stages. In general, the pattern was: (1) the embryonic or egg form; (2) the larval period; (3) the pupal or chrysalis stage; (4) the adult insect. During each stage the biot or biological unit-the so-called individual-passed through a metamorphosis during which it was totally or partially transformed.
The same was true of the domesticated primates. Most of them passed through, and kept neurological circuits characteristic of, the following four stages: (1) imprinting and using the self-nourishing networks of the primate brain-the neonate or infant stage (oral biosurvival consciousness); (2) imprinting and using the emotional-territorial networks of the primate brain-the "toddler" stage (anal status consciousness); (3) imprinting and using the semantic circuits-the verbal or conceptual stage (symbolic rational consciousness); (4) imprinting and using the socio-sexual circuits-the mating or parenting stage (tribal taboo consciousness).
It was all very mechanical-but that's the way planetside life is.
PRETTY LITTLE BIRDIES
December 1, 1983:
Be
Pretty little birdies
Picking in the turdies
*Terran Archives 2803: New York was a city-state or island in the midwestem part of the Unistat. It seems to have been a center of religious worship, and many came there to walk about, probably in deep meditation, within an enormous female statue, the goddess of these primitives. Various authorities identify this divinity as Columbia, Marilyn Monroe, Liberty, or Mother Fucker-all of these being names widely recorded in Unistat glyphs: Perhaps her true name will never be known.
Be
"Pretty little birdies
Picking in the turdies!"
To which another child would usually reply:
"He's a poet
Though his looks don't show it!"
Be
"Birds," Be
Be
It was probably the least successful column Be
Be
It seemed like only yesterday that Be
As a student of Zen, Be
"Public utilities are a monopolist's heaven and a consumer's hell," he growled, knowing he was not yet a Buddha.
But then he cheered up as another bit of 1930s kidlore came back to him. It was a silly ritual, really, but it used to keep them amused, even hilarious, back in sixth grade. It would begin with somebody asking, "Who shit in the sink?"
"You shit!" another would reply.
"Bullshit," the first would riposte.
"Who shit?" a third would then ask.
"Frank shit," somebody would answer.
"Bullshit," Frank would object.
"Who shit?"
"Joe shit," Frank would say, getting Joe into the game.
"Bullshit," Joe would pay promptly.
And so it would go: "Who shit?" "Pete shit." "Bullshit!" "Who shit?" "Jerry shit." "Bullshit!"… And on, and on, until everybody was bored-which among schoolboys might take quite a long time.