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Candy would giggle, pulling her simple cotton nightie over her head, past full breasts, slim abdomen and hips. Jake would hop out of bed and yank on his boxers before opening the door to scoop his sleepy rug rat into his arms. For the sake of his daydream he’d call the kid Mark, and he would smell a little sweaty and of cedar shavings—not unlike his pet hamster.
In his mind’s eye, Jake watched himself lug Mark to their bed where he’d wriggle—footie pajamas and all—smack-dab into the middle before promptly falling asleep, snoring loud enough to wake the dead. And then, in milky moonlight, Candy would reach out to him, her husband and best friend, grasp his hand and give it a light squeeze. Without either of them saying a word, Jake would know his every wish had quietly come true.
Back to reality, Jake swallowed hard.
What happened, Candy? What happened between us to make love not be enough?
“Pizza should be here in about forty minutes.”
He looked up.
Even doing something as simple as crossing the room, Candy had such grace. A long time ago she was everything he’d ever wanted and more. That long, silky hair, those even longer legs. When they made love, she’d had this way of wrapping those legs around him, urging him deeper, urging their souls closer, that had nearly made him weep with the sheer joy of being her man.
Now…
Whoa. Now, he just wanted out. Time to regroup.
The woman and her cozy kitchen were dangerous. “Forty minutes, huh? Whew, that’s a long time.”
“Yeah.” At the waist of her simple floral dress, she fumbled with her hands. “Uh, want to watch a movie or something while we wait?”
“No, Candy, I think what we should do is talk.”
Chapter Three
Minutes later, in the living room, Candy took the sofa while her ex choose an overstuffed tapestried wing chair.
Personally, she’d had enough talking, but seeing as how Jake probably wouldn’t leave without spilling whatever was on his mind, she figured she might as well let him get it out of his system. “Okay,” she said. “Let’s hear it. What in the world made you re-propose this afternoon at the shop?”
“Jeez, where do I start?” He cleared his throat, worked the opening of his forest-green golf shirt—the one she was trying not to notice did such heavenly things with his a
“I get the picture. Go on.”
“So anyway, I had these great friends, Cal and Je
Candy leaned forward, spellbound by the change in Jake’s expression. His eyes glowed with love for this child who wasn’t even his. If there’d ever been a doubt in her mind that she hadn’t done the right thing in giving him a divorce, it was gone now. Jake was destined to be a dad. Just like she was destined to never be a mom.
“In fact, I’m thinking of ba
“Jake,” she said, a sickening suspicion forming in her stomach. “Why are you talking about this baby as if she’s yours?”
He swallowed hard, and it was then she saw tears shimmer in his deep brown eyes. “Because she is mine, Candy. Cal and Je
“Oh, no.” She flung her hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry. So sorry.” Not thinking, just doing, she went to him, wrapping him in a hug. “How? They must have been so young.”
“Drunk driver,” he said when she sat on the coffee table in front of him. “It was bad. A couple of kids out cruising on a Friday night hit them head-on. Cops said the driver must’ve downed at least ten beers for his blood alcohol to be so—”
He paused to swallow, catch his breath, and she reached for his hand. “Go on. It’s okay.”
Nodding, he said, “Sorry. It’s been a month, but it’s still hard.”
“I can imagine. These people were your friends.”
“Yeah. They were the best. When my dad died, and then my mom, they were the ones who helped me through.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for your mom’s funeral.” She squeezed his hand. “But with Grandpa in the hospital last spring and everything.”
“It’s okay. I understood. I wish the guys down at the store would’ve told me he was sick. I’m sure he needed you.”
I wanted you to need me, too.
Had she? Lord, what was happening? All of her carefully constructed emotional dams felt dotted with holes.
“Anyway,” he said after expelling a deep breath. “In the emergency room, right after Je
“Of course.”
“And everything was going great. I was really getting the hang of the whole diaper thing and feeding. Bo
“I know you, Jake. I’m sure you’re making an awesome dad.”
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Problem is,” he said, scratching his head, “Bo
“Why?”
He gave her the short version of Mrs. Starling’s speech. “So there you have it. My only hope of keeping Bo
“Wow.” Head spi
He nodded. “But only until the adoption is legal. I’m figuring it’ll take a year tops. In fact, after you make a brief appearance at Mrs. Starling’s office, where we can dazzle her with our marriage license, rings and smiles—not to mention the old photo albums of how much fun we had back when we first got married—you’ll probably be off the hook.”
Candy, nibbling her pinkie fingernail, began to pace. Fireplace to breakfront. Breakfront to fireplace. “You know my family history, Jake. I vowed a long time ago to never be a mom. Do you know what you’re asking?”
She paused just long enough to see him nod.
Fireplace to breakfront. “I mean, if I say no, that pretty much makes me the most heartless soul alive. Yet if I say yes, all my promises to myself…my plans…You don’t know what it’s been like for me since losing Grandpa. This is a small town. I’m surrounded by people who love me, yet I feel lost, like there’s something missing inside of me I haven’t been able to find. This trip, it means everything to me, Jake. It’s about reclaiming my soul.”
“So why can’t you reschedule?”
“It’s not that easy. The tour’s being led by a top writer from National Geographic. I applied for the honor of being in her party almost a year ago. All the documentation on the sale of Candy Kisses has been finalized. I mean, my life is like the space shuttle, ready to blast off.”
His expression dark, Jake stood. “So your answer is no. That’s all you had to say. I understand.”
“No. I mean, no, wait. That isn’t my answer. I just need time to think. You showing up, throwing me this curve ball, it’s all too much.”