Survivor's Quest

"I'm being serious," Luke said.

"Hey, relax," she soothed. "I'm joking. You know I'm staying with you."

"I know that." He braced himself. "What I meant was... if you really need to be there, I'm willing to go with you."

"I know," she said quietly, reaching over and taking his hand. "And you don't know how much it means to me that you are."

She hesitated. "I won't deny that the idea has some attraction," she admitted. "Ever since this whole thing started, I've been fighting some strange survivor's guilt over the fact that I lived through the Empire's destruction when so many other people didn't. I kept wondering if I was just lucky, or whether there was some other reason behind that."

"Of course there was," Luke said.

He felt the subtle muscle movements as she smiled. "I meant some reason besides completing your life and making you happier than you ever thought possible."

"Ah," he said dryly. "And what did you conclude?"

"I don't know," she conceded. "All I know is that I was given about as clear a choice as anyone could hope to have. On one side was the chance to again serve an empire, this time an empire that had all the strengths I'd always admired but none of the evil. A chance to give back some of my time and ability to the heirs of the people who'd spent so much time and energy teaching me those skills in the first place."

"And on the other side, you have the New Republic," Luke murmured. "Squabbling, political brushfires, Bothan back-blading, and an occasional diehard who still doesn't trust you."

"That was the choice, all right," Mara said. "But no matter how nice and ordered and comfortable the Empire of the Hand might look, I've decided that my place right now is with the New Republic."

"You're sure?" Luke asked, one last time.

"I'm positive," she said. "Besides, how could I drag you away from your sister and everything you fought so hard for?"

"It would have been tricky," he admitted. "But I could have adapted. I guess I'm just surprised that after all this time you would still even have to make such a decision."

"I wondered about that myself," Mara agreed. "But I could feel the Force in this, right from the very begi

"Not to mention the fact that we were needed to keep Formbi and everyone else alive?"

"There's that, too," Mara agreed. "I always like it when I get to accomplish three things at the same time. It makes life so much more efficient."

"Yes," Luke murmured. "And I'd be the first to say that the New Republic is certainly where you're needed the most. So is that finally settled?"

"It's settled," she confirmed. "We're in for the duration, dear." She squeezed his hand. "I'm just sorry your own quest didn't turn out so well."

He shrugged. "No, but it's not really over yet. I still think there must be useful records of the old Jedi somewhere aboard Outbound Flight. We're just going to have to wait until we get hold of the entire thing and can go through it console by console."

"Which could be a while," Mara warned. "It could take the Chiss years to dig it out of that rock pile, especially with the shape it's in."

"That's okay," Luke said. "We've lived this long without it. We can wait a few more years if necessary. Patience is a virtue."

"Never had much use for it myself," Mara said lightly.

"Yes, I've noticed." Luke paused. "You want to tell me the rest of it now?"

"What rest of it?"

"The other thing that's had you walking around like a kid in a cemetery at midnight," he said. "The thing you've been trying to bury where you hope I won't notice it."

He could sense her sudden discomfort. Clearly, she had indeed been hoping he wouldn't notice. "It's nothing, really," she hedged. "Just a weird thought from my overly suspicious imagination that I can't quite get rid of."

"Origin and caveats noted," Luke said. "Quit stalling and let's have it."

"Okay," she said reluctantly. "Did it ever occur to you—I mean, did you ever really think about it—just how sneaky and convoluted this whole scheme of Formbi's was?"

"You forgot to add underhanded."

"Oh, absolutely underhanded," Mara agreed. "The idea of dangling Outbound Flight and the Redoubt in front of the Vagaari precisely so they could push the Chiss just that little bit too far is about as devious as you can get. Especially when you add the extra touch of bringing us aboard as the ultimate wild card for Formbi to play against them."

"Devious and a half," Luke agreed. "So?"

She took a deep breath. "So who do we know who specialized in exactly that kind of convoluted plan?"

"I don't know," Luke said, his voice frowning. "Car'das, maybe? You said he used to work with Karrde, who's always been pretty good at the devious approach himself. And we already know he was the one who maneuvered Jinzler aboard."

"I suppose it could have been him," Mara said. "Though from what Shada said it sounded like he mostly keeps out of galactic affairs these days. I was thinking more about someone with a proven record for strategic and tactical finesse."

Luke tensed as he suddenly saw where she was going. "No," he insisted reflexively. "It couldn't be. We destroyed that clone, remember?"

"We destroyed a clone," Mara corrected him. "But who's to say he didn't have another one stashed away somewhere?"

"No," Luke said firmly. "It's impossible. If there was another clone of Thrawn ru

"Would we?" Mara countered. "Remember, according to Parck, the only reason Thrawn came back to attack the New Republic in the first place was to whip us into fighting shape for some danger looming out there at the edge of the galaxy. Maybe he figures we're as ready as we're going to be and has decided to concentrate on clearing out some of the local troublemakers from his own backyard."

"Or maybe the Vagaari were more than just locals," Luke said, feeling his stomach tighten. This was making far more sense than he cared for. "Maybe they've already been in contact with the threat Parck and Fel mentioned to you."

"Could be," Mara agreed. "Of course, that would just give the Chiss one more reason to squash the Vagaari as quickly as possible. Not only would it eliminate part of the threat, but they might also learn something about possible new enemies when they sifted through the rubble."

Luke shook his head. "I wish you'd mentioned this while we were still aboard the Chaf Envoy" he said. "We could have asked Formbi about it."

"That's exactly why I didn't mention it then," Mara told him. "Because we probably would have asked, and frankly I don't want to know. If Thrawn's back, I think we can assume he's more or less on our side."

She exhaled between her teeth. "If he's not back, I guess we'll all just have to make do on our own."

"Yes," Luke murmured. "But we'll do all right."

"I know." Mara rolled onto her side to press herself closer against her husband, and Luke felt the warmth of her body and spirit flowing into his. "Because whatever it is we wind up facing, we'll be facing it together."

He reached his arm around to stroke her cheek. Yes, they would indeed. Because whatever prohibitions and restrictions the Jedi Order had imposed on its members during the Old Republic, he knew now in the core of his being that, somehow, those restrictions no longer applied to him and his fellow Jedi. This was the New Jedi Order, and he and Mara were walking together in as perfect a harmony with each other and with the Force as he could ever expect. "The Force will be with you always, Mara," he murmured in her ear. "And so will I."